brainsander:

The Third Ear

Instructions:

1-   Insert earplugs into both ears.

2-   Insert wet toilet paper over earplugs.

3-   After toilet paper dries, apply putty over the toilet paper.

4-   Wrap ears with duct tape, sealing the contents within.

5-   Place a layer of soundproof material over the speakers of large headphones and cut the wire.

6-   Place cotton over top of soundproof material.

7-   Duct tape headphones in place.

8-   Attach a funnel inside your mouth.

As you deny the ability to hear with both ears, all sounds become automatically redirected and are heard through the inside of the mouth. Over a short period of time, the sounds of the world around you grow overwhelmingly loud. Shortly thereafter, one begins to hear with their third ear.

(Update: For best results plug up the nostrils too.)